Wakeless Dreams (Jisoo x Seolhyun)
Avocado Procrastinates
"I wish I could be happy without you."
"Please seek your own happiness. I believe you can find it, someday. You still have dreams, don't you?"
There have been many things that Jiae has been wrong about, but she was right about one particular thing: Jisoo still has dreams. Although several of her dreams had been destroyed upon her break-up with Jiae and the eventual revelations that followed, Jisoo has other dreams aside from those - dreams that are quite realistic compared to the ones that had involved Jiae. Like getting her name out there. Becoming an idol. Being recognized for her talents. Earning a debut that she had worked hard towards.
These were the dreams that she had achieved, at last. It felt like an eternity to Jisoo. Preparing for debut, keeping up with intensified training, spending increasing hours at practice, seeing her parents less and less, coping with her personal matters - it was long, painful, and exhausting. Was it really worth it, Jisoo wonders, because she doesn't feel all that fulfilled. Did she shed tears because she felt overwhelmed by a sense of achievement, or did she shed tears because she felt so relieved, that it was finally all over? (But it actually wasn't, because this was only the very beginning).
Happy stories usually don't have beginnings as broken as this, do they?
A member of the music show staff passes by the newly debuted girl group. He takes one glance at the clipboard in his hand before announcing: "Lovelyz, your performance is coming up next. Get ready." He leaves the girls' waiting room to attend to other business, like giving instructions to the camera crew.
Most of the girls were sitting in their chairs, jittery inside and out, but they are now standing in response to the alert from the staff member. A few of them are performing breathing exercises to calm down, a few of them are reviewing steps in the choreography that they had previously struggled with, and a few of them are adjusting the small microphones taped to their faces. All of them, however, are feeling quite anxious about performing well. After all, hard work doesn't end at debut.
They can hear the performing group's stage clearly. Today they are sharing a waiting room with them, but they haven't been able to get acquainted just yet. This group has been gaining steady popularity nowadays, and the members of Lovelyz know their song by heart. Mijoo and Jiyeon hum along quietly; it's a calming practice for the two so nobody thinks about stopping them. The others are all too wrapped up inside of their own heads to care anyway. When the song finally comes to its dreaded end, everyone in the waiting group seems to freeze up. Regardless of how prepared they feel, it's their turn to perform.
The staff members hurry toward the girls and fuss over their appearances and equipment one last time before ushering them towards the stage, where dozens of fans await them. As they make their way to the stage in a neat single-file line, they pass by the members of the group that had just finished performing. Ace of Angels, or AOA, as they were called. The senior girl group members give the Lovelyz members tired but uplifting smiles. They murmur a few words of encouragement or two, like "fighting", or "good luck". The younger members whisper their thanks and the shyer members beam and nod in acknowledgement. Due to their nervousness and concentration, some members fail to notice the other girls and thus miss the opportunity to express their gratitude. Jisoo is one of these members.
But a single member of the other girl group goes out of her way to catch Jisoo's attention. She knows just how nervous the other girl is - they've all experienced this before (and they still do from time to time). Jisoo is surprised by the sudden feeling of a weight on her shoulder, and she breaks out of her preoccupying thoughts to realize that one of the AOA members is grinning at her. "Good luck. You'll do great." The girl is pretty and her dimples are cute, but Jisoo can't recall her name in the few seconds that their eyes meet. It seems like her mind has been wiped clean by the ever-so-overwhelming anxiety. But it doesn't matter now because the girl's groupmate/friend grabs her hand and pulls her away to the waiting room, before Jisoo could muster up a verbal response.
"Save it for later, Seolhyun." That's right. Her name...
Seolhyun.
While performing on stage, Jisoo felt like a preprogrammed machine. She couldn't even hear herself think through the booming music and lively audience, so she didn't really think at all and just allowed her body to do as it pleased. Nonetheless, she does pretty well - judging from the reactions she and her fellow members receive when they return to the waiting room, at least. "You girls did great out there. Good job." The only blond member of AOA tells them as more praises are given by the other members. Jisoo doesn't really pay attention to them. She grabs the water bottle someone passes to her and takes a seat on the unoccupied sofa.
Lovelyz and AOA lounge together in the waiting room, on standby until the time in which all the performers are gathered onto the stage at the end of the music show for the winning announcement. Surprisingly enough, the girl groups don't mingle much (as opposed to the friendly behavior they had previously exhibited). After carrying through the industry formality of exchanging their respective groups' signed albums, the girls mostly mind their own business, chatting amongst one another or of course using their phones. From the corner of her eye, Jisoo sees Jiae doing just that. Probably sending messages to Sungjong or something along those lines. Their relationship is still going strong, from what Jisoo knows.
And that is fine with her. Good for Jiae. Good for Sungjong. Good for them.
Although they are in the same group, Jisoo and Jiae avoid each other as much as possible, at all costs. It's not because they
Comments